


Secret Santa

by aMUSEment345



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 00:56:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aMUSEment345/pseuds/aMUSEment345
Summary: Just a little fluff set in season 4.





	Secret Santa

_**Secret Santa** _

"What is this?"

Spencer Reid picked up the colorfully wrapped box from his desk.

"Looks like your Secret Santa gift," observed Derek Morgan.

"Who is it from?"

Morgan and Emily Prentiss, seated at adjoining desks, exchanged eye rolls.

"You're not supposed to know who it's from, Spencer," explained Emily, "That's why it's called 'Secret' Santa."

"Oh." Reid lifted the small package to ear level and shook it. "Am I supposed to open it?"

Morgan pushed back his desk chair, and made a study of his young friend, who obviously knew nothing about the process.

"Does this mean you haven't gotten your Secret Santa a gift? Because Baby Girl will be extremely disappointed that her idea for a 'fun holiday' (making finger quotes) wasn't embraced by the whole team."

"Ha!" snorted Emily. "Like  _you_  embraced it? Weren't you the one making fun of it?"

"Let's just say I was persuaded otherwise."

"What, did Penelope threaten to freeze your phone again?"

"Worse. She threatened to have it play that chipmunk song non-stop. Who the hell ever thought it would be entertaining to have cartoon chipmunks make a record?"

JJ came in on the tail end of the conversation. "I love that song! It's not Christmas until I hear it." She launched into part of the song, with a crescendo, "I still want a hula hoop."

"Did you know that the use of the hoop goes back to 1000 BC? Of course, it wasn't called the hula hoop then, and it wasn't made out of plastic. That wasn't until 1958."

"Reid…." Emily tried to interrupt him.

"And the longest documented sustained hooping lasted for almost 75 hours."

JJ laughed. "I never knew you were such an expert on hula hoops, Spence. Have you ever actually used one?"

"Sure, when I was a kid. My mom had one. They were popular when she was a girl."

JJ dug back in her memory. "Come to think of it, my mom did, too. She said it was the closest she would ever come to Hawaii. Now she travels all over."

"I don't remember my mother having any toys. Probably wouldn't have been ambassadorial of her." Emily quickly dispensed with the moment of regret, and posed a new question. "What do you think Henry will be telling his kids about the toys his mom kept from her childhood?"

JJ was thoughtful for a few seconds before responding. "I'm pretty sure Will would have something to say if Henry wanted to play with my Cabbage Patch doll or my Easy Bake oven. So I think the only one Henry will know about is my soccer ball. Of course, this year he'll only be interested in the boxes and the paper. Too bad it can't stay that way. Playing Santa can get pretty expensive these days."

Which reminded Reid of how they'd gotten into this conversation.

"Guys, I've never had a Secret Santa before, let alone been one. Are there rules?"

Seeing that Morgan was about to rag on her best friend, JJ stepped in.

"Spence, all you have to do is to buy a gift for the person whose name you picked, then put it where they'll find it. Ten dollar limit. It's not supposed to break the bank, it's just supposed to be fun."

"Fun." Reid looked like he considered it anything but. He'd just had a sickening realization.

"What's wrong, Pretty Boy? Lost your Christmas spirit?"

"No." Reid shook his head dejectedly. "I lost the piece of paper with the name."

His male colleague teased him. "Mr. Eidetic Memory can't remember one name? And the name of someone he works with, no less."

"It's not that. I just … I never looked at it. I put it in my pocket, and forgot about it. By now, it's been through the laundry. I won't be able to tell who I'm the Secret Santa for."

"Hmm," said Emily. "That's a real quandary. I mean, I guess you can just wait to see who doesn't get a gift, but you'll be cutting it pretty close to Christmas if you do that."

Morgan had an idea. "Or you can play Secret Santa for all of us, and get gifts for everyone."

"Helpful. Thanks, Morgan," was Reid's sarcastic reply.

"Hey, you know I always have your back, Kid." Grinning.

"So, what do I do?" Turning to his female colleagues for sympathy.

"Well, it looks like you can rule out having yourself." JJ pointed to the gift on Reid's desk. "And, if it helps, I can tell you that Garcia has already received her gift."

"Have you?"

Hoping it might be JJ, who would be the most forgiving, of both the fact that he'd forgotten, and of the presumed inadequacy of any gift he might think to get her.

"Not yet."

"Nor me," offered Emily. "I think you'll have to ask Hotch and Rossi yourself, though."

That made the genius look even more miserable. "Can't you do it for me?"

Looking to each of them in turn, JJ, Emily, and finally, Morgan.

"Hmph. No such luck, Pretty Boy. But, hey, maybe you can profile it out of them."

"What does that mean?"

Though posed in jest, the idea intrigued Emily.

"You know, Morgan might be right. Not so much to find out if they've received their gifts, but you can probably try to figure out which names they have, and figure out your name by the process of elimination."

"Nice idea. Except, how will I find out who the three of you have? You'll be on the lookout for me."

"I guess I can help with that a little bit, Spence," offered JJ. "Why don't you open your gift?"

"Now?"

She nodded. "There are no rules about when we open our gifts."

"How will that help me?"

"Open it. I'm pretty sure you'll know who it came from."

Given what she'd said, he was already pretty sure. But he did as instructed, and unwrapped the gift. As he lifted it from the box, his heart melted.

"Wow. Henry's first Christmas." Looking at a photo of himself and his infant godson emblazoned on an ornament.

"Turn it around," urged JJ.

Reid did so. On the opposite side, he found an impossibly small footprint inked onto the globe.

"This is beautiful, JJ. Thank you." Leaning over to give her a hug.

"Actually, it's from Henry. I'm just the middle man. Or woman."

Emily moved the process along.

"All right, so we know you didn't have your own name, or Garcia's. And I guess it's safe to say that JJ will be okay with me telling you that I have her name. So you've eliminated three people on the team."

"Okay, so I know I'm not the Secret Santa for myself, Garcia or JJ. But there are still four more people in play."

JJ grinned. "Four possible victims. All right, then. You guys are the profilers. What's the next step?"

Morgan had an idea. "Maybe you should come at it from the unsub side. I mean, the Secret Santa side. So, you have me, Emily, Hotch and Rossi left as possible victims….uh, recipients. And you have me, Hotch, Rossi and Baby Girl as possible Santas."

Reid gave him a look. "And I suppose you're not about to tell me which victim you have?"

Morgan gave him that grin again. "Nope."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" said the BAU genius.

"C'mon, Morgan. It's his first Secret Santa," encouraged Emily. "I told him mine."

"Yeah, Morgan. Where's your spirit of Christmas? Santa's watching, you know," said the new mother of the group.

The senior profiler rolled his eyes. "All right, all right, Mama Bears. I'll tell little Baby Bear, here."

"I'm not…."

"Shh!" said both women at once.

"I have Rossi. The man who already has everything. Do you know how hard it's been to find a gift for him? For ten dollars?!"

"Poor Morgan," teased Emily. "Why don't you just buy one of his books and give it to him? That way, he gets a gift, and a royalty, too."

Morgan looked impressed. "You know, that's not a bad idea."

Reid took the conversation back. "Guys, I still need help here. I could still have Hotch, or either of you." Looking back and forth between Morgan and Emily.

"Back to the victim side, then," offered JJ. "I'm not an official profiler, but I've picked some things up along the way. So, we know who gave you your gift, who will give me mine, and Rossi his. If you can figure out who has Hotch, or Morgan or Emily, you can eliminate them from your possible victim list."

"And Garcia," reminded Emily. "We don't know who gave her gift, so we don't know which unsub was paired with that victim."

"Well, we can eliminate the people in this room. So either Hotch or Rossi had to be her Secret Santa," reasoned Morgan, back on board with the familiar process.

Reid thought about it. "What did Garcia get?"

"Ah," remarked Emily, "reverse profiling. You'll use the gift to figure out who gave it."

"Sort of."

JJ knew. "She got some stationery…..pink, with her initials monogrammed on it."

Morgan knew immediately. "That was Hotch, then."

"How ….. " began Emily, but Morgan cut her off.

"Long story. Requires alcohol."

"Okay, our next outing to O'Keefe's, you need to spill."

Reid was encouraged. "Okay, so that leaves Rossi and me as possible Secret Santas for the two of you. So, all I need to do is ask him."

"Whoa, Pretty Boy, hold up on that. I know I wasn't excited about doing this, but Garcia was, and I don't want to ruin it for her. As it is, this whole conversation is going to have to remain just among the four of us. We don't want to bring anyone else into it."

"So, how do I find out, then?"

JJ had an idea. "Why don't you ask him for some gift advice, then? Ask him how he decided what to get for his Secret Santa."

"Like an MO, you mean?"

She laughed. "I guess. He wasn't all that thrilled with the idea either, as I recall. Commiserate with him about it. Maybe he'll let it slip."

"Good idea." Reid looked up to the mezzanine and saw Rossi in his office. He'd just started toward the stairs when he stopped abruptly and turned back to the group. "I just thought of something."

"What?"

"Who does Garcia have?"

* * *

Finding out from Rossi hadn't proven all that difficult. Once Reid brought up the subject, the BAU founder latched on to the genius like a lifeline.

"You know her better than I do. What does Prentiss like?"

Reid tried to keep the 'mission accomplished' look off his face while he helped Rossi brainstorm. In the end, they agreed that Emily would love to try some new, exotic spices that Rossi might wrangle from one of his favorite restaurateurs.

That left Garcia, and he couldn't very well just ask her. It also left only Hotch and Morgan as possible giftees, which intimidated him, just a bit. Reid made his way slowly down the hallway to the tech analyst's lair, posing and rejecting one approach after another. Finally, out of hall space, he simply knocked.

"Enter, ye lowly mortal." Garcia spun around quickly in her chair, adding, "Oh, Reid. Hi. What can I do for you?"

"Um….uh….well…."

"Oh no! Is it bad news? People always have a hard time telling bad news! Please tell me it's not bad news, because…."

"It's not bad news!"  _For you._  "I just… I need some advice about the Secret Santa thing." Then, playing for sympathy, he added, "I've never done it before."

"You've never…. Oh, my poor sweet junior GI man, of course you haven't! What do you need to know? Do you want me to explain the whole thing to you?"

He didn't, but he also needed more time to think, so he let her go through it.

She finished with, "So, the most important thing is keeping it a secret. So, it helps if you give them a gift they would never think came from you."

Eyeing an opportunity, Reid asked, "Can you give me an example? For instance, how did you go about thinking what to get your Secret Santa?"

"Well, let me see. I guess I just thought about what I know about him, and what he likes. And then I thought about which of those things would be the kind of gift someone else on the team might give him."

' _Him'. But the only choices left are Hotch and Morgan. 'Him' doesn't help me._

"Is it supposed to be a serious gift, or a joke?"

"Ha, good question! I thought about giving him a funny gift, but he doesn't have much of a sense of humor."

_Still not helping, Garcia._

"What if it's something that someone else might like? Can people exchange gifts with each other afterward?"

"Oh, you mean 'Dirty Santa'."

"' _Dirty_  Santa'?!"

"Yes, you know, like a white elephant swap, or a Yankee swap. Those are supposed to be gifts that no one actually wants."

"Oh. I thought you meant…"

"Aww… is my baby genius blushing?"

Nothing he could do about that. "Um…just to be sure….we're  _not_  playing 'Dirty Santa', right?"

"We're not. But now that you've brought up the idea, maybe next year…."

"No! I mean, maybe we should enjoy this year before thinking about the future."

"It  _is_  fun, isn't it?" Rubbing her hands together in glee.

"Yes. Great. Fun."

"So, do you understand it now? Need me to tell you anything else about it?"

"I guess not," in a tone of defeat. Then he took one last stab at it. "Unless you want to tell me what you got your person, as an example. Without revealing their identity, of course."

"Sure. I got him a tiepin. Actually, I had it made, with the letters BAU."

_A tiepin. Finally!_

Once upon a time, he still wouldn't have been able to tell who Garcia's Secret Santa was. But Derek Morgan's wardrobe choices had changed considerably over the years.

"That helps, sure. Something useful, but inexpensive, that anyone could have given the person."

"Exactly!"

"Thanks, Garcia. You really did point me in a direction."  _Thank God._

"Glad to help. Happy shopping!"

* * *

After the problem of figuring out who his Secret Santa was, Reid had thought shopping would be the easy part. But he'd left it until late, and the stores were pretty well decimated. He suffered through two malls, walked into every single store that lay on the route between the Metro and his apartment, and even made a foray into downtown DC. Finally, in desperation, he went into a toy store, thinking to get a piece of sports equipment. And then, fatefully, something called out to him.

Two days later, Derek Morgan entered the BAU in the morning, to find an oddly wrapped package on his desk. In spite of himself, he smiled as he opened it. Then he frowned.

"What's wrong?" asked his youngest colleague.

"This better not…"

But it did. As soon as he had it out of the box, the gift started making noise. Three figures, swaying and singing.

" _Christmas, Christmas time is near, time for toys, and time for cheer…."_

Emily grinned as she arrived to her desk, and JJ stopped on the way to her office, singing along until Alvin had a chance to wish for his hula hoop.

"That's so cute!" she gushed.

Morgan growled. "It's so Garcia! Baby Girl…" And he headed off, up the stairs.

Reid smiled. "You know, Alvin has always been the star of the group. But I think I prefer Simon."

Emily laughed. "I get it. Tall, erudite, glasses. What's not to like?"

"Exactly."

* * *

_**A.N. Lyrics from the song without which it is simply not Christmas: The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) by Ross Bagdasarian, Sr. Hoping everyone will enjoy a season of peace and good will!** _


End file.
